As BBC 6Music listeners participate within the annual ‘Wear Your Old Band T-Shirt to figure Day’, it got us thinking.
While a day may be a ‘Wear Your Old Band T-Shirt to figure Day’ at TeamRock, we drew up an inventory of the foremost outrageous, tasteless and admittedly unwearable t-shirts that are bound to get you the sack and doubtless arrested.
The t-shirt designs are during a gallery at the foot of the feature and will only be viewed by those that aren’t easily offended…
One of the simplest things about extreme metal and its imagery is that so-called normal people will inevitably be horrified when faced with even the mildest of examples. But really… who wants to seem at this one? Ever? subsequent time you’ve got the squits, madam, do be happy to offer the photo op a miss. Mind you, the band is called Anal Blast, so we should’ve seen it, erm, coming. Fun fact: this photo originally did the rounds on shock sites years ago under the name tub girl.
CRADLE OF FILTH – JESUS may be a CUNT
Yes, it’s a clear choice but seldom features a t-shirt exerted such phenomenal offensive power. Cradle Of Filth had already become notorious within the metal world by the time they first made this classic available, but the very fact that fans were being arrested and elderly ladies were shrieking in outrage round the nation… well, it certainly didn’t do Cradle any harm to be as famous for a shirt as they were for creating a racket. Poor old Jesus, though, eh?
MARDUK – FUCK ME JESUS
Ah, well a minimum of offering to possess sexual activity with our Lord and saviour may be a little less unpleasant than what Cradle Of Filth said, but Marduk still scored many incensed Christian points once they plastered this slogan on the rear of a shirt for the primary time. The naked woman with the crucifix up her bum may be a nice touch, too. Bless.
CREPITATION – SPUNKATED RAPISED ENFUCKMENT
It’s probably best to not analyse the thought process behind a shirt like this incredibly dubious effort by Crepitation. Let’s just regard the utter lack of taste or morality involved within the front image of ghastly sexual horror and applaud the linguistic ingenuity showcased by that unforgettable slogan. You horrible, horrible people.
ANAL CUNT – BODY BY AUSCHWITZ
Everything Anal Cunt did was designed to elicit a hostile reaction. From song titles like You’re Pregnant So I Kicked You within the Stomach to a deeply unhealthy obsession with Hitler, Seth Putnam’s grind maniacs only needed to place their name on a shirt to form it offensive. on the other hand this t-shirt happened. We must…MUST…clarify that we don’t find this shirt acceptable on any level. Bloody hell.
CANNIBAL CORPSE – BUTCHERED AT BIRTH
They may are outgunned by other bands over the years, but Cannibal Corpse are the daddies of the gruesome t-shirt design and Vince Locke’s Butchered At Birth remains the one image within the band’s visual canon that, despite its familiarity, still retains the facility to show stomachs and make burly, bearded men say ‘Christ, that’s a touch rum!’ No actual babies were harmed within the making of this t-shirt, we hasten to feature .
I DECLARE WAR – FUCK YOUR TITS
Where death metal obsesses about violence, gore, horror and war, deathcore tends to only be horribly misogynistic and stupid. which suggests that this pearl of anti-wisdom from generic no-marks I Declare War is as offensive as any on this list. Of course, it’s probably all meant to be ironic or satirical or something… and that we don’t doubt that the band love their female fans during a nice, polite, respectful way. But really… what a bunch of dicks.
ARKHON INFAUSTUS – HELL INJECTION
Jesus gets a reasonably rough deal, doesn’t he? Anyone would think he spawned a worldwide religion or something. Anyway, French blackhearts Arkhon Infaustus didn’t want to roll in the hay the bearded wonder or to call him horrid names. Instead, the tied him up, stuck needles in him and, seemingly, gave him boobs and a vagina. Fun times!
ANAL FISTFUCKERS – MENSTRUAL CHUNKS DISCORPORATED
Just…urgh…what…erm… what’s it? Oh… fucking hell, that’s horrible. They’re called Anal Fistfuckers, so we shouldn’t be surprised that they don’t have anything nice on their shirts, but still… this is often properly rank. Take it away. We don’t want to seem at it anymore.
CATTLE DECAPITATION – FORCED GENDER REASSIGNMENT
A band known for his or her incredible artwork, Cattle Decapitation seem to possess had a momentary lapse of reason once they put this monstrosity together. Metalheads generally enjoy horror movies and literature and every one manner of disgusting, violent stuff, but there’s something uniquely unpleasant about this shirt. Better to wear it than see it, we suspect.